Adam Lima

Ms. Debra Lilli

Eng. 1005

9/27/2007

Middle School

            When I was little I had high anxiety.  In the morning when I woke up, my stomach would churn just thinking about the monstrous day ahead of me.  I remember I would frequently play sick, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of being around people.  If this wasn’t bad enough, I was soon to start my seventh grade year.  That meant leaving the school I felt moderately comfortable at and entering a whole new, bigger school.  Everyone from all of the Coventry elementary schools would be at this new school.  I was in deep doo doo.

            I hadn’t had many friends as it was; now I would have to face a new school with lots of new faces.  My friend Kelsey, who I was “dating” at the time, was basically my best and only friend.  We would pray the whole summer that we would be in classes with each other, so we’d feel more comfortable.

            I thought, however, that even if we weren’t with each other this school year, I’d have more to loose.  You see, Kelsey was a lot more popular than I was.  It seemed she had a lot more friends, and had a personality that would get her new friends easily.  To tell you the truth, she was the person to open me up to the world around me.  By always forcing me to try new things and giving me positive encouragement when I was afraid, she brought me into a more relaxed world.  Still, I was dead afraid to be without her for this new journey which we were about to embark upon.

            September came almost immediately.  This first day of school was here and my hands were shaking, I was afraid.  Afraid of being made fun of, afraid of being judged, afraid people wouldn’t like me.  Kelsey sat next to me in the Coventry Middle School auditorium as all of the new coming seventh graders sat anxiously and awaited for the principle to announce which teams they would be assigned to.  In case you didn’t know, “The Teams” were a group of students that were separated from the other different teams and those students would basically have all of their classes together.  That meant Kelsey and I were hoping to be on the same team.

            Kelsey and I sat adjacent from each other, hands clenched tightly in one another’s.  The names of the students were called off one by one; some cries of relief came from the crowd while others cried tears of sorrow and disappointment.  Finally mine and Kelsey’s names were called off for the same team, we cheered and gave each other a high five.  All was good, but deep down inside, I knew it would have been better for me to be torn away from Kelsey; a.k.a. my life rope.

Listening to your snake tongue snap?

Should I even care

That the golden gates won't open for a guy like me?

Should I make love

To the bits of broken glass and dog shit of society?

Does the heart I seek have mine treasured atop of statue of platinum light?

I don't think so

I never dreamt so much

And when I wake I let down myself

Realizing its fiction

I remember growing up like it was only yesterday,

Mom and Daddy tried their best to guide me on my way.

But the hard times and the liquor drove the easy love away,

And the only love I knew about was hard love.

It was hard love, every hour of the day,

When Christmas to my birthday was a million years away,

And the fear that came between them drove the tears into my play,

There was love in Daddy’s house, but it was hard love.

And I recall the gentle courtesy you gave me as I tried

To dissemble in politeness all the love I felt inside.

And for every song of laughter was another song that cried,

This ain’t no easy week-end, this is hard love.

It was hard love, every step of the way,

Hard to be so close to you, so hard to turn away,

And when all the stars and sentimental songs dissolve today,

There was nothing left to sing about but hard love.

So I loved you for your courage and your gentle

Sense of shame

And I loved you for your laughter and your language

And your name,

And I knew it was impossible, but I loved you just the same,

Though the only love I gave to you was hard love.

It was hard love, it was hard on you I know,

When the only love I gave to you was love I couldn’t show.

You forgave the heart that loved you as your lover

Turned to go,

Leaving nothing but the memory of hard love.

So I’m standing in this phone booth with a dollar and a dime,

Wondering what to say to you to ease your troubled mind,

For the Lord’s cross might redeem us, but our own just

Wastes our time,

And to tell the two apart is always hard, love.

So I’ll tell you that I love you even though I’m far away,

And I’ll tell you how you change me as I live from day to day,

How you help me to accept myself and I won’t forget to say,

Love is never wasted, even when it’s hard love.

Yes it’s hard love, but it’s love all the same,

Not the stuff of fantasy but more than just a game.

And the only kind of miracle that’s worthy of the name,

For the love that heals our lives is mostly hard love.

The love of my life!!!!!!

This is Mr. Savikas' wife...
hot, huh?